Sunday, August 23, 2020

Grappling With God


Psalm 22: 1-15
Roger Lynn
August 23, 2020
(the audio for this sermon is unavailable)
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Faith is about seeking always to be in relationship with God. Sometimes that is easy. Life is going well – good things are happening – evidence of God is everywhere. Of course we believe in God. Of course we know that we are loved by God. Of course we want to live our lives in harmony with God’s presence. How could anyone possibly have any doubts?

But life is not always sunshine and flowers. There are times when darkness threatens to overwhelm us and even our memory of the sun begins to fade. If this has not been a part of your life experience, the chances are good that it will be before all is said and done. Suffering is a part of the human condition. And when such moments find us, it can be difficult to find the God of our faith. Sometimes faith involves lots of searching and not much finding.

Psalm 22 does a powerful job of giving voice to such an experience. It can be difficult to hear because it does not offer any quick and easy answers. It takes us into the midst of the struggle and ask us to simply remain there for a while. We need not remain there forever. The psalmist eventually finds his way out of the darkness into God’s brilliant light. But it is helpful to remember that sometimes in the midst of the darkness it is all but impossible to see the light. That is why it is good to look at such experiences before we find ourselves in the midst of them.

Life for the psalmist is closing in. The enemy is at the gate. Everything has come undone. And in the midst of such physical and emotional turmoil, there is the added spiritual turmoil of feeling abandoned by God. It is worth noting that in his final moments of agony on the cross, Jesus chose this psalm to give voice to his anguish. One of the reasons, I believe, is because it does such a powerful job of expressing the fluid way in which the one who is suffering moves back and forth between clinging to some trace of faith that God might yet be found and despair that all is lost, including God. The reading today is only the first part of the psalm. Just 7 verses after the ending of our reading there is a shift. Things turn around. The psalmist gains a fresh new perspective and begins to recognize that God is, indeed, present and active, even in the midst of the current darkness. But I chose to end the reading at verse 15 – “you lay me in the dust of death” – because I believe it is helpful to be reminded that even when there is light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes our experience simply does not feel that way. Sometimes the darkness is so thick that despair is all that defines the experience. There are times when we can’t get to the end of the psalm until we just hang out for awhile in the middle. But in addition to great suffering, the psalmist also reminds us of the importance of tenacity. Even when there are no easy answers. Even when there seems to be only darkness and pain. Maybe even especially then. The psalmist continues to grapple with God. Right from the opening line we see it. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” (Psalm 22:1) In the very act of proclaiming a sense of abandonment, there is also a sense of connection and relationship. “My God.” Even when it seems like only darkness and death right now, there is the attempt to recall those times which have gone before when God was surely present.

I do not believe this psalm represents an accurate view of who God really is. God does not cause us to suffer. God does not intentionally inflict pain just to make a point or teach us a lesson. God does not abandon us and forsake us. Standing above all of the promises in scripture is the promise that God loves us unconditionally and will be actively present with us always and forever. But the psalmist does present us with a powerfully accurate picture of what life feels like sometimes. As I wrote in a poem while a friend was dying of AIDS, “In the end it’s love that wins. In the end it’s God who triumphs. But in this wilderness before then, it’s hard to see that far.” (The Winds of Fearful Silence) And the lesson from the psalmist seems clear. Don’t give up. Not when life gets painful and confusing. Not when God can’t be found. Not when no good answers seem to be forthcoming. Not ever. Because finally the mystery of God cannot and will not be defined and understood in quick, easy, and simple terms. Sometimes it is only when we dare to grapple with God in the midst of our pain and confusion that we begin to come to terms with who God is in our lives. Yell, scream, cry out in pain, be angry, be outraged, but keep on grappling. The darkness will not last forever. In the end the God we discover is worth the struggle and has been waiting for us all along.

1 comment:

  1. Words of comfort and courage. Also recommend Kipling's poem, "If", updating it to read either man or woman, as the case may be.

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