If Only . . .

Mark 6: 1-13

Roger Lynn

June 24, 2018

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My friend Amy Martin has a song she calls “What If. . .” in which she explores what I believe is a common tendency among us human beings – playing the “What if . . .” game. Our imaginations often seem to run down the most unhelpful, “worst-case-scenerio” paths until we drive ourselves crazy and find ourselves completely paralyzed with fear. “What if I do this, and then this happens, and then that happens, and then the world completely falls apart?” In her song, Amy’s solution is brilliant in it’s simplicity. “What if I let go of all of the What Ifs and try to be with What Is?”

A closely related malady to which we humans seem especially vulnerable is the “If only . . .” game. We know we have fallen down this particular hole when we find ourselves saying things like, “I would do something about the problem, if only I knew more, or if only I had more money, or if only I had more time, or if only (insert reason here.)” As with the “What if. . .” game, it is easy to drive ourselves crazy with this endless list of “If only. . .” excuses and never actually get anything done.

In the story from Mark’s Gospel, what I found most remarkable was not that the disciples were able to heal people. What I found most remarkable was that they were able to even get out the door and try. When Jesus sends them out two by two to share the remarkable Good News of God’s healing presence with the world, they did not respond by saying, “Oh Jesus, we would love to do that. Really we would. There is so much pain and suffering in the world, and we can see that it would be a really good thing if someone went about the business of healing all that brokenness. And we would do it, if only we had spent more time preparing. We would do it, if only we knew for sure that God’s Spirit would flow through us. We would do it, if only we could be sure that people wouldn’t laugh at us, or ask us hard questions, or think we were crazy. We would do it (really we would), if only we weren’t so incredibly scared.” It is remarkable that they didn’t say any of these things. Or if they did, they didn’t let it stop them. They let Jesus’ confidence in them fill them with their own confidence. They went out and touched people’s lives. They brought healing and wholeness to a broken world.

When it comes to reading the Gospels and figuring out what they mean, there are all kinds of ways in which it can be confusing and complicated and subtly nuanced. But in at least one way, it is abundantly simple and clear. The disciples are us. We are them. When the Gospels mention the disciples, either collectively or individually, it is usually a safe bet that we can simply substitute our name and the meaning remains the same. “Jesus called the members of Plymouth Congregational Church and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics.” Like the disciples we have been called to reach out and help to heal the world. And like the disciples we have a choice. We can offer up our favorite “what if” or “if only . . .” excuse.  Or we can step out in faith and trust and see what happens.

The thing about our “what if . . .” and “if only . . .” excuses is that they almost always contain some element of truth. Things do cost money (sometimes more than we have at the moment). Some tasks do take a commitment of our time (sometimes more than we think we could possibly manage). Some undertakings do require particular skills (sometimes more than we have yet discovered). But even so, our “if only . . .” excuses are never the whole story. We get stuck there because we forget there is more to life than we can perceive with our limited vision. God is a God of abundance, not scarcity. We are connected to a larger whole beyond ourselves. There are resources which only become available to us when we actually step into the flow. 

I invite you to think for a moment about a time when you faced a challenge in life and managed to actually move beyond the “what if . . .” and “if only . . .” excuses that might have derailed you but didn’t. What got you past the roadblock? And what happened that wouldn’t have happened if you had stayed stuck in the “if only . . .’? Hold that vision clearly in your mind. Let it expand and fill you and warm you. Allow it to take root, so that it will be easily available the next time you find yourself tempted to offer an “if only . . .” response to some particular opportunity.

And now I’m hoping that at least a few of you will be willing to risk letting go of your “if only . . .” responses right now and help me preach this sermon. I’m hoping that you will be willing to briefly share the experience you just remembered, as a way of helping the rest of us see what is possible.

(allow time for sharing)

We have been called by God to share ourselves with the world. Not the selves we might be. Not the selves we will be. Not the selves we wish we were. Simply the selves we are right now, in this moment. We have been called by God to trust that what we have to offer will be enough. We are not alone. We are a part of God’s abundance. We have been called by God. What “if only . . .” excuses will you let go of in order to say yes?