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| used by special permission of the artist |
Roger Lynn
July 15, 2018
We want life to be nice and neat and tidy. We want it to be comfortable and easy. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work out that way much of the time. In fact, often as not it is messy and confusing and sometimes downright painful. And we would really rather avoid it if we could. Except what we discover is that it is precisely in the midst of the whole messy, confusing, painful business of living where we find meaning and purpose and direction. It is here where we meet God.
Rita Nakashima Brock is a theologian and scholar who wrote a book entitled “Saving Paradise,” which is based on her research that the early Church found profound meaning in the idea of paradise. And paradise was not some idealized, pie-in-the-sky, other-worldly, after-you-die affair. It was all about experiencing God fully and completely right here, right now, in the midst of this life, with all of its messy mix of joys and struggles. Somehow I think Jacob would find much in this idea that resonated with his own experience.
The story of Jacob at the Jabbok is filled to overflowing with powerful symbolic imagery about the human experience. Jacob, you may recall, was the son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham. Early in his life he pulled a fast and shady deal on his brother Esau and managed to walk away with Esau’s birthright for the price of a cup of soup. And then as a result he spent the rest of his days looking over his shoulder, doing the best he could to live with himself and get on with the business of living. Until the day when it all catches up with him (as it almost always does, one way or another). He wears out his welcome in the foreign land where he has been living since the fallout with his brother, and now he is headed home. But word comes that his brother is on the way to meet him, and he’s bringing an army with him. Jacob sends gifts in an effort to secure a favorable reception from his brother. But fear is permeating his soul. He has at last come face to face with his life, and it is not a pretty picture.
Sometimes the struggles are personal. Sometimes they encompass the whole world. Sometimes what is at stake is the future direction of our own life. Sometimes what is at stake is the survival of the planet. And always what is required is the tenacity of Jacob. The blessing is found in the perseverance. There are no easy answers. Sometimes there are no answers at all. It is absolutely not what we want to hear. In this age of e-mail, microwaves, overnight delivery, fast food, instant gratification, we want solutions and we want them now. What we get instead is the Mystery of God’s presence revealed over the long haul, sometimes bit by agonizing bit, as we continue to go about the business of living our lives as fully and completely as we can manage. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Don’t let go. Hang on for dear life, because the life we find in the process really is dear – really is precious.
For Jacob it was coming to terms with his past. It was coming to terms with himself. For each of us, the specific details of what we wrestle with will be as varied and unique as we are. And in the end we will find the same thing Jacob found. Such intense struggle is sacred business. It is one of the powerful ways in which we come face to face with God. And we will be changed.
There are at least two areas in my own life where I see this playing out – one where I find the blessing on a regular basis and one where I’m still searching. I remember one time in a Bible study group where we were discussing this topic a friend of mine commented, “I wrestle with God all the time. And sometimes God looks just like my wife.” I couldn’t agree more. In my ongoing relationship with my beloved, we regularly find ourselves struggling to find our way through the tangled jungle of old pain and new misunderstandings, all the while doing the best we can with the communication skills at our disposal. And what we discover, over and over again, as together we engage in this intensely challenging endeavor, is that we are blessed beyond measure as we find God’s presence revealed right here in the midst of us. It doesn’t come easily. Sometimes it doesn’t come nearly as quickly as we might wish. And it does come – every time.
The other area where my wrestling is frequently experienced remains more confusing. It is more global in scope. Indeed it has to do with the often painful ways in which life in our world seems to play out these days. I struggle with the actions being taken by our government – actions with unimaginable deadly consequences. And I recognize that they are actions being taken in my name. I am, quite literally, participating in the infliction of suffering, because my tax dollars are being used to support and carry out the actions. I struggle with that reality. What am I called to do? Who am I called to be? How am I called to live in the face of such reality? I confess that I am still in the midst of the wrestling. I have not yet come to any clear sense of where the blessing will be found. And I am convinced that God is right here in the midst of the struggle. Just because I have not found resolution quickly and easily does not mean it is a lost and hopeful cause. Sometimes all I can do is not give up.
Where are the places in your life where such struggle takes place? What are the things that challenge you the most? Where are you finding meaning and purpose and blessing in the very midst of your living? It isn’t about having all the answers. It is about being willing to grapple with the hard questions. It isn’t about getting it right. Sometimes it is about just hanging on. May we be found faithful in the midst of all of our living. May God grant us the courage and the strength to keep striving for the blessing. Amen.
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